wanderlust.

I wish I could travel more. I sometimes feel like it would be worth it to take out a big loan and spend time living and traveling elsewhere. Even if I had to spend the rest of my life paying it off, while I have the time and non-responsibility of being single and childless and without serious commitment like a career I've worked way too hard to bail on, or a mortgage or anything, to just go. But yes, I ache for adventure and travel, and really at this point, i think I have nothing else to really satisfy me the way that other places do. Maybe if I DID have those commitments, those responsibilities, I would be equally happy to be wherever I am, and everyday would be an adventure, learning about a husband, about having a family, about those new responsibilities, then I'm sure I wouldn't be lonely for other places, other adventures, the hope of meeting new people to share them with. I think sometimes I use adventure as a substitute for a partner. When in a relationship, I'm content to just be cozy and go on living in the day to day, and when I'm somewhere else, I feel proud of myself for being there, I do all kinds of things, and the new city is my friend, that maybe I've made with someone, maybe i've met alone, but then, it's okay to be alone. Is that absurd?