-Sometimes when i leave my house and walk through the streets past the bakeries and shops and restaurants I pretend I'm in Italy or Paris. {It doesn't really feel like spain, but its okay.)
-My mom has lately been expressing her desire for me to be settled and today it made me realize just how much I don't want the life she wants for me. The idea of buying a house right now is absolutely the last thing I want. I don't even want to sign a cell-phone contract right now (because it commits me to being in the US for two more years). While I want to plan things, and agree that I want stability to help me cry less, the idea of being in the same life and place for the next 20 years makes me want to cry more. I don't want that life yet. Maybe in a few years I'll feel differently but now all I long for is adventure, and someone to have it with and to count on.
-my camera doesn't like to work on command any more, and how I wish it did lately. There are so many things I would like to have pictures of to post here:
-last night on my way home at 11:00pm people were camped out in a line in front of the apple store downtown. this morning on my way to work at 10am it had become two and a half blocks long up Stockton to Union Square. really?? a boy took a picture from market street up. I wished I had a camera that worked with me.
-I actually really like living here. Really. Yesterday was a lovely day spent walking around North Beach. I ate lunch and spent the afternoon in a cafe doing some office work I brought home, sipping soup and a glass of zinfandell with a salad and my schematic. I'm really sad to leave my new apt in two weeks.
-I'm terribly nervous I won't find a place to live by the end of the month and dreading having to move again. This time I will try to ask for help. As it turns out I have a pretty hard time with that.
-I have not cried in two days and I consider this an accomplishment.
-I have yet to meet boys who I feel compare to the boys I've known for so long, who care for and about me, and encourage me with their words and hugs and give me hope in finding a husband. As much as I hate on Escondido, Praise God for the boys that hail from it and their continued presence in my life.
-wow, I got unexpectedly asked out tonight and while i would really love to go out and talk and get to know him better, really really ache to have good conversation with someone, I'm just not attracted to him. I wish I could be better at casually dating.
-I love it when things are cleverly named (like Extreme Pizza's menu, or my Dogwood martini at Blondies)I had a fruit tart and tea tonight at a dessert and coffee shop so cleverly named "Tart to Tart." It was delicious.
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I am a work in progress.
between the brackets:
- miss kerry
- San Francisco, California
- Fascinated by beauty, I find myself searching for it everywhere. I crave adventure. I long to impact the world, if only by one person, and to have great love; it is my hope to live a life worthy of those in it and the One who created it, and to never cease creating. I am a work in progress.
I would label the earth if given the opportunity to organize it neatly:
- adventures (60)
- art (42)
- Central Europe (4)
- eat it up (6)
- favorites (31)
- fresh friday (5)
- glamour (41)
- house to home (3)
- lists (35)
- love (61)
- new friends (31)
- Portugal (4)
- rock and roll (18)
- san francisco (76)
- Spain (7)
- traveling (40)
3 comments:
Why were people at the apple store? Is there something new and exciting that I don't know about?
I would like to second your statement about Escondido. Whenever I trash-talk so-cal, I am always quick to add " but there are some really great people there"
!!
ps. I heart my castro postcard!! snail mail back soon, I promise!!
...several years ago, but feels like it was yesterday.
At the time, I was living in a very small room, upstairs in the Ranch House in Meadow Ranch at Hume Lake. The room was barely wide enough for a bed and a dresser and you could only stand in half the room because the ceiling sloped down to the floor on the bed side of the room. The door could not open all the way because it hit the before mentioned ceiling. But, that was okay, because there was a small sink between the bed and the door that the door would have hit anyway.
I had gone to sleep listening to the sound track from Il Postino. (a fabulous movie, I expect you have seen.)
The next morning, I woke up in Paris.
It is the best and also the most real remembered feeling I have had in the last five years. I think it is my favourite feeling. It took me about fifteen minutes to figure out that I was not actually in Paris on the particular morning. I put on a fun hat, and spent the rest of the day pretending like I was in Paris. It made the day at least 16 times better.
Now, I often go to bed hoping that I will wake up in Paris.
While it's become my own euphemism for a having a perfect day, I do look forward to actually waking up there again.
For real this time, please.
i have never woken up in paris, unless you count the train to paris? lets go.
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